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Love is the essence of all Tantra. That includes self-love. Relax, trust, and enjoy.

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Developmental Techniques for Tantra/Sex Magic
by Fra. Geh Mad

Thou Art God(dess)!
General Approach:

Try and balance your work in this area to include both the physical exercises that increase performance and control and the more subtle exercises that deal with the perception of the prana energies.

Physical Techniques:

a.) Both men and women
should begin by learning the location of the pc muscles in order to develop and strengthen them. This is done by consciously stopping the flow of the urine stream during urination. Once you have a feel for these muscles you can begin to exercise them by contracting (squeezing) and releasing them. It is not recommended that you continue to stop the urine flow, once you have learned to exercise these muscles. This is the basic" kegal" exercise and it can be done during almost any activity that doesn' t require you to be moving about. 300 a day, done in groups of 50 to 100 is fine. Start slow and work up to more.

b.) A good combination of physical and subtle energy work is the Mulabandha Mudra:
Relax in any sitting posture that you are comfortable with (half-lotus, etc.) Empty the lungs and breath in a full deep breath, but don't strain. Bend the head, touching the chin to the chest or as close as comfortable. (This seals the top of the Kundalini energy path.) Contract the muscles of the anus and lightly bounce the root chakra (anus/perineum) on the floor four to five times, by raising yourself off the floor with your hands. Rest on the floor, raise the head and exhale normally. Repeat this whole process 10 to 12 times. Be gentle and find your rhythm. Do not force or hold the breath past the point of comfort.

c.) For men:

1.) Do the Nauli exercise:
Stand at rest with feet spread even with shoulders. Exhale. Bend at the waist and place the hands on the knees. Draw up the muscles of the lower abdomen from the groin and roll them alternately clockwise and counter-clockwise. Don't try this with food in your belly. If you are doing it correctly, you should be able to feel the muscles in the groin being gently tugged from the lower abdomen. (This is a great way to find relief from constipation as well.)

2.) Do the Prancing Pony exercise:
After doing basic Kegal and Nauli, you should now be able to make you erection bob up and down by contracting the same muscles used in the Kegal and Mulabhanda exercises. You can continue the exercises to good effect by practicing the contractions with an erection. (For a real treat, try the same movements with your lover!) For the next stage, take a towel or wet washcloth and lift it with the erect lingam by doing the contractions.

3.) During lovemaking,
practice deep, controlled, rhythmic breathing to stave off orgasm. Practice Tantric brinkmanship for therein lies Ecstasy!

4.) As you feel the approach of orgasm,
try to relax, consciously uncurl the toes and breath deep and restfully. You want to find the very edge of ecstasy and ride it, not moving away from it and not giving in to orgasmic release.

d.) For women:

1.) Kegals are the best for women.
After some experience with the basic exercises, try the Gripping exercise: insert a slim smooth object into the yoni and practice gripping/squeezing it using the same contractions learned in the basic Kegal exercises.

2.) Traditional Belly Dancing
is a wonderful way for a woman to further develop her muscular control and does combine some subtle energy work.

Subtle Energy Techniques:

General Approach:
Methods that combine breathing and energy awareness with some sort of visualization/meditation are best. The purpose is to learn to be able to feel and eventually control/guide the flow of the etheric energy through the body. Be sure to practice gro unding yourself after any energy work of this kind!

a.) Starhawk's Tree Meditation (See The Spiral Dance)
or similar meditation/visualization is a good beginning.

b.) Try the Polarity exercise to learn to feel your own aura:
Get comfortable, (you can sit or stand, but standing is easier). Rub the hands together briskly in front of you. Bring them apart, even with the shoulders. Slowly bring them together and try to feel the flow of energy across the gap between them. Don't touch them together! It helps to move the hands in a very small circular pattern while keeping them very close together. When you feel the flow of energy practice moving your hands further apart while maintaining the awareness of the energy flow . You can also practice projecting this flow thorugh your hand into various parts of your body. Always ground after any polarity work! (For great results, try this as an arosal stroke on your lover!)

c.) Any good martial arts or yoga practice
will help here, if done with intent. The point is to first become aware of and then learn to control the flow of subtle (pranic) energies through your body and aura.

Working with a Partner:

General Approach:
Try to perceive your partner as the deity incarnate.
Begin with sensual massage and Genital Puja (Ritual worship of the sex organs as emblems of the deities). Be aware of the subtle energies and the various kinds of circuits that you can make with different positions.

Positions are not real important
except for how they facilitate the flow of energy, especially for partners that have different body types. Try different ones and vary and change them to help with control. In general a better circuit can be achieved by joining the various limbs (hand to foot, hand to hand, foot to foot) and by maintaining eye contact. The man should strive to stay at the brink of orgasm, while the woman should acheive release as often as she can! True tantric union is more concerned with the flow of energies and will require a minimum of movement and exertion. Find a comfortable position that can be maintained for a long time without strain. Remain joined with just enough movement to maintain arousal. Focus on the energies...enjoy! Most tantric sources st ate that it takes a minimum of 30 minutes of conjoined union for the subtle energies to balance and begin to mount towards the wave of bliss...

THERE ARE NO LIMITS! PLAY HARD AND BE SAFE!

Bibliography:

1.) Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy by Nik Douglas & Penny Slinger
This is Fra Geh Mad's favorite tantra work. Great philosophy and technique as well as a great deal of erotic art from India and the Orient. Includes a huge bibliography! Does suffer a little from an old-fashioned homophobic awareness. Nik and Penny have a few other books as well and all are good. Their Pillow Book is a beautiful collection of Indian and Oriental Erotic Art.

2.) The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand
This is a great volume for commited couples and is essentially an entire course in tantric love that a couple can practice together. Not inaccessible for solo adepts as well, this work presents tantra in a non-technical way without the sanskrit/orien tal terminology. Very good!
Order The Art of Sexual Ecstasy Today!